The end of a marriage can affect your emotional health and even your mental health. Yet if you lose control of your emotions, you could harm your chances of getting what you need in the divorce settlement.
That is not to say you should bottle up your emotions. That, too, can be harmful. Vent in private by discussing your situation with close friends or family members.
Beware of what you say and how you act in divorce
There are a few situations when you need to take extra care to control your emotions:
- In a divorce hearing: A judge will not know you well enough to put any outbursts you make into context. A judge might assume that is how you always act. You need to remain calm and reasonable in hearings; otherwise, your spouse might suggest to the judge that this is how you always are.
- Around your children: No child wants to be in the middle of parents who are arguing. Aside from it being uncomfortable and unpleasant, recent research shows it can lead them to fear abandonment.
- In front of your spouse: You know how to upset or trigger your spouse, but doing so could cause him or her to escalate a situation: What you both need is calm, not conflict.
- In public: Public includes social media. Anything you post will reflect poorly on you, and your spouse might use it to portray you as vindictive. There is also the chance that someone you know will see your posts or overhear your comments in the street. People in the community may start to treat you differently if they get the wrong impression of you.
Getting the correct information about how divorce works can prevent needless worry. It allows you to focus on what matters.